THAT IS ALL.

 Hells yeah it's an icon post! Which is strange because I haven't made graphics in a reeeeaaalllyy long time, but I was watching Futurama(all of it) and just had to.

   
23- 100 Monkeys
12- Futurama
13- Selena Gomez(1- 150px by 150px)
( A bunch of icons here! )

 So I've been thinking a lot lately, which really is a pretty dangerous thing for me to do. When I think I usually just come to the conclusion that I'm too fucked and should just kill myself. I haven't exactly gotten that bad, yet, but I am certainly getting there.
 Anyway, what I've been thinking about mostly the past few days is why I can't just like/fall in love with someone who might be a little bit good for me. I mean, why is it the only people I have any “romantic”(and that is a pretty fucked up meaning of that once nice word) feelings toward are clearly bad people? One person who I like has specifically told me they don't care whether they talk to me or not, another has actually destroyed my property, and a third is just a whole mess all by himself.
 But then I can find three guys who have liked me. The first-compliments me endlessly. The second-has told me that I deserve to have people care about me(what an idiot, right?). The third- is possibly the sweetest, most innocent boy on the planet. Do I like them? Hell no. It bothers me that they like me. It actually annoys me.
 I just cannot stand to be liked.
 In a way I suppose I am protecting them because I realized a while ago that I tended not to like those nice boys who would treat me like a human being, but just recently someone questioned why I don't like to be liked, and I had no answer for him. I don't like to be liked because that's too simple, isn't it?
 Why don't I just accept it? Why does everything have to be a freaking battle? I don't know. I would love to be in a normal relationship, but clearly the only ones I value are the ones where I get thrown around and treated badly. Yeah, perfect. If I am depressed more than happy then perfect!
 I am seriously fucked.

So I'm talking to this guy and out of nowhere he tells me he thinks it was a bad idea for one of our mutual friends to introduce us.

I was always stupidly under the impression you don't tell a person that you wish you had never met them unless they actually did something awful to you. Yay, I feel so super special right now, really.
"Don't get me wrong, I just don't think it was the best plan is all."
Don't get me wrong, but you might be an ass hole! :D Sorry my friendship doesn't benefit you in any way at all.

And now after going on a long search of Twilight Sucks, here's this:

I laughed at that picture so hard, and probably for almost five minutes.

EDIT: Oh, he just got better. He doesn't think a relationship will develop(it won't) so therefore meeting me was useless! Even better!

I can scarcely remember anything about that day. I know that on the second some time around 4:30 I took Klonopin. More than I should have. I wanted to just fall asleep because I was depressed but that didn't happen, instead I got HIGH! As a mo'fo'ing kite! And called people to see if they'd answer, and did all sorts of shit. Including making up with a friend and insulting a different friend.

Next day, I have no idea what the fuck happned. WHAT DID I DO?! ANd now the friend I made up with won't talk to me about making up. The friend I insulted forgave me quite easily because he isn't a jackass.

Point is kids: Drugs are bad, m'kay?
Worst part being I liked the next morning where I was still high but at least I can remember. I was stumbling and it was great and fun... Damn. I'm against illegal narcotics, dammit!

Ugh. I discovered a couple days ago I am still a jealous bitch!! Poor girl probably doesn't even understand why the creepy girl across the room from her glares at her non-stop.

ALSO: I've finished editing my stupid story! It's going pretty well, surprisingly!

I've been feeling really, really, really crappy lately, though. Not ewantin to hang on, but whatever. I'l be fine, probably.

Oh woe oh woe oh woe is me
I drown in my own ecstasy oh woe oh woe
Away away away with me
I’m unimportant c’est la vie
~Smoke, 100 Monkeys

I am such a whiny, jealous, annoying bitch. I need to not be so annoying! That's my to do list: Be less annyoing.

I think I'm depressed again. I don't appreciate this.
Also, yesterday I woke up to my mother yeling at my father about my grades, and saying she wishes I would just get my GED because I'm wasting everyone's time. Last year I wanted nothing more than to quit school and get my GED because I couldn't take it anymore, and that is when I had all F's, and she was against it. Now that I have some F's and some D's it's a waste of time for me to be there?
Oh and today she actually asked me if I wanted to get my GED(although not mentioning I was wasting everyone's time. Nice enough not to say it when she thinks I can hear) and said "then you can just sleep all day." Because that's the reason. Yeah.

I can't stand living with people who don't understand it. I'm obviously missing school because I keep staying up and sleeping in. No, it couldn't be because school makes me so stressed out that the idea of swallowing twenty pills and sleeping all day, even with the risk of dying, is a better alternative, could it? No, I'm just a lazy fuck-up. Those pills you have to give me individually each day because I can't be trusted with a whole bottle obviously make me all better and nothing like that will ever happen again.

Fuck.
And now the option of getting my GED is presented and I don't know if it's what I want, and then when I think of what I want all I can think of is death, so I can really make absolutely no decisions. Hoo-rah.

On a different note, Criminal Minds is on tonight and it's some insane person sucking people's blood, and Reid has really funny/adorkable poofy hair. I love this show, I wish it were always on. I'm at least enjoying this. Proof I cna still enjoy things!

Still deciding whether this gets to overtake me or not. We'll see!!

Depression

Just found this community. The first post I read and I already feel a bit better, knowing someone out there will actually understand when I talk about how the future scares me, or how I feel trapped.

I don't actually know of very many people with depression(that I know of, at any rate) so it's god to have this community where I cna talk to people who are feeling the exact same way. I have somewhere to go so I can post about how the fact that I want to lay in bed all day just makes me feel worthless and then want to cry and lie in bed for even longer(damn circual lagic) and then people will give me some feedback, tell em they understand. It's good to know.
Hasn't been a very good week, so this was a good time to find this comm. God damn I hate school...

You think you're over someone, but then something happens that makes you want to die all over again. You think maybe, perhaps, finally, you're seeing him for what he truly is, but then you realize that you still desperately just want him to care about you.

Why can't I be the one to affect him that way? Why couldn't I be the one he isn't over yet? Just for once be the person he cares about? Maybe I don't even like him, I just want someone to feel that way about me. I don't feel the jealousy I used to, though. I just feel sad it's not me. Maybe because we're friends, but then again, I don't hate Anna with so much fervor as I disliked you. Maybe because I can tell she doesn't matter. I don't think she does at all. I'm not used to feeling so heartbroken without someone to direct anger at.

Today is just a bad day. I woke up not wanting to come to school. Last night I wanted to just take like 5 of my anxiety pills so I could sleep for days. I'm sick of the world right now, so maybe just everything is being taken out of proportion. Although, I feel that this down mood and the urge to sleep for days was caused by the realization, and just over all feelings of worthlessness, rather than my the other way around.

Why do I let how I feel about myself be affected by one person so strongly? Why aren't I over this yet? I don't know... I thought I was, damn it. I realized he still likes her, I'm sure of it, and I've realized I'm not over him yet, because if I was I wouldn't so desperately wish it were me, would I?

Okay. I need to pick a name for a character.
Here are the facts: Last name is for sure De'Havilland, gender is female and I dislike gender-neutral names.

I cannot for the life of me pick a name for this character! I usually have one after a while but with her it's been like nine months and she has none.

I'm considering:

Melanie(however, considering her love interests name is James Ashley Wilkes, I'm hesitant on this one)
Ashley
Wendella
Aurora
Carlie???? Hmmm, I'm getting vibes from that one.

I need suggestions...

So yesterday I was complaining about writer's block, and then magically sitting down and applying myself worked to get a little bit written(of course, making me feel like more of a fool)

So then today i was going over what I wrote and well... I am more than a fool. I can never take myself seriously ever again. I kind of suck at this whole writing business, I think. I base this off of one line:

For some set up, our speaking character James has just been told he doesn't have to move to New York, but Melanie/Ash/? is worried that he is only staying because he is worried she'll do something stupid if he left.
"It'd be very uncomfortable to live with my heart on the other side of the country."

Lol. OMG, I am just so poetic and romantic!! I shall tell you that our character is 17, speaking to his girlfriend of... 5 months. Yes, five months. 

Also, I wrote this gem of a description just a couple of sentences before:
"He put his head back up and looks at you, the sky of his eyes watery in sadness. "
Although that does actually seem like something Mel/Ash/?(our POV) would think, still, the fact I have a character like this at all is lulz worthy. His eyes are at least a very light blue... Wow I'm lame.

What if everything I've ever written ever and thought was good is just like that? What 17 year old boy speaks like that outside of my head? Or even inside of my head, because he's the only one any age who speaks that way. I guess the closest would be David, who is known to quote Shakespeare in serious conversation.

I'll end this with David's overly-long simile of his heart to a glass vase.
"You mistakenly thought she really cared about you, and you definitely really care about her, and she just broke your heart like it was some cheap vase. The last time she eventually picked up the pieces and glued them back together, almost good as new, only to throw the vase at the wall with all her might, shattering it into even smaller pieces. You're not sure she'd even be willing to try and find them all, never the less put them back together and mend it. "
Oh, Edyn, I am just so sensitive! How could you do this to me?! I am like a lone snowflake in the wind, and you are like an eighteen-wheeler racing through and smashing into me!

Who gives a fuck?(in any case, right now it is 'Rescue You' because I had in on repeat like, overnight, so it has about 5 times more than any other song in the library)
These "writer's block" questions do nothing to help my writer's block. Or perhaps writer laziness, as my case may be. Actually, I'll go with both.

I have a couple idea swimming about my head, but I seem unable to implement them into a story that is actually on paper and/or virtual screen. My already-existing figments are doing just fine(in the sense events are going on, although John actually is developing an Eating Disorder, I fear) but if I try and create new characters, I just can't. I have plots I want to actually expand upon, and start writing, but I open up word and I just am stuck staring at a blank screen, and then end up on the internet reading about stuff someone else created!

Where has this sudden influx of writer's block come from? I came up with JAW and his gf out of nowhere quite a while ago, while in the midst of John and his gang, yet I haven't written a new character since then. What is going on here?

And actually, even then, I can't really seem to add onto JAW's story. I have it open right now, and except from editing some mistakes or rephrasing sentences, I haven't added anything. I even tried typing some stuff I already have written, but on notebook paper, and couldn't concentrate. It's sad because I really do like JAW and Mel(or Ash...) but I seem unable to actually write the ending I have in my mind, or type anything more about them.

Which just makes me irrationally irritated with John and Edyn. I have written enough about them(almost 200 pages typed!!) why can't they give other characters the spotlight, for at least a little while, huh? I am aware they're fictional, and I have a choice whether or not to write them, but it's either write about John's increasingly stress-filled life and their crumbling marriage, or not write at all! I choose to write about poor John and his 27 year old angsting. 

That went on for a while. So obviously I have no problem writing about myself and being all self-absorbed, but I can't let my figments live? They're just trapped in their, some half-formed, not even a face to their plot not even a name to the vague silhouette in my mind! Alas, I may be doomed to only have a little family of John and Edyn. Even his little sister is being affected by this. God, John and Edyn are so SELFISH!

I feel so terrible. I barely ate at all today, and I'm blaming that, although it doesn't make much sense...

Ever since around midnight my body has been feeling so, so tired. I would get up, walk around the kitchen/living room, and then have to sit down. Or I'll be sitting, as I am now, but have to go lie down because I can't  stand to stay sitting up. Hell, even my hands are getting tired typing, yet my mind remains completely alert, and awake. I tried so desperately to sleep, but I can't. And then I started getting those urges that I needed caffeine. I finished off the last coke, and then almost went to buy a fucking can for one dollar, but told myself NO, that's too much for a 12 oz. can. Well, an hour or so later, I gave in and bought a Mountain Dew(they were out of Pepsi).

Something is wrong with me right now, I don't feel well at all. Everything on me is tired. Is it because I haven't really eaten and am filled with coca cola? I hope I feel better once I crash and then wake up. I don't know. I'm actually quite distressed, but thanks to me being fucking CRAZY everyone I know is asleep, so I haven't anyone to talk to and tell about what is going on. For some reason my right hand/wrist is getting absurdly tired right  now, but my left side remains fine.

What is wrong with me?!
I just want to puke or something, I don't know. I feel so sick. I want to sleep, but I just can't.  I don't know what my probem is. I just want someone to talk to right now! Ugh. I'm actually a bit worried for myself. I have been taking way too much aspirin the past few days due to a massive toothache, but then again I imagine I am just freaking out over nothing and being paranoid. I don't know...

Well bye.  

OH I get it. Too much sugar, and maybe I have developed diabetes and now my muscles aren't getting the sugar because my insulin is shot. Haha, yeah right. Hope not, anyway, because then I'll just end up costing my family even MORE fucking money, which, honestly, I cost them so much as it is. I don't even want to go to the dentist because it will cost something, and I already cost them $500 for my 'stunt'. Gah.

EDIT: Dehydration! Guh. That's my new guess. Also, about an hour and a half after I wrote that I took my temperature and I had a fever. So hooray, I am/was a bit ill. Even right now my body feels really, really hot. Ew.

Ugh. I've been increasingly obsessed with ym weight lately. Pinching at my stomach, where all of my fat seems to just sit, and then thinking about how much I weigh-not actually sure right now. 110-114. 

Why has it become such a problem? Either way it's very disturbing. It took me maybe three days to eat a fucking can of soup because it had 14g of fat, and then when I saw how much was really in it I couldn't bare the thought of eating it all, I had to split it with my sister. I have eaten I think two packs of ramen today(both dry, if that counts for anything), and a bunch of those mini bags of M&M's. And two cans of coke. My addiction to it and M&M's and coke has beaten this creepy wieght obsession, but I can't stand the thought of eating chips right now.

WHat is wrong with me? I think I'm just bored or something. I haven't gone out in such a long time I need something to concentrate on, and I decided it'll be my weight for a while. Hope it doesn't become a habit. Although I've been exercising more, getting up and doing random sets of leg-lifts. I just want to get rid of that belly fat, and then get down to 105. Feel like it's the magic number... Actually, I want 99. The time I found out I was over 100 I had a mini-weight crisis, as well as when I outgrew size 0. Being over 110 is just plain freaky. I don't like it. I need to get this out of my head and into my mouth, but whatever. Hopefully school won't just make it worse, but it probably will.

Fred Approves, yes-sir.
DISCLAIMER: I fucked up and underlined the ones I've simply read, and bolded ones I love

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman  (Except Amber Spyglass. Haven't gotten around to it yet...)
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott (If I could bold this one a thousand times, I WOULD!)
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (Minus Histories, 'cause everyone knows they SUUUUCK, as Will would say XD)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath (Have tried on two occasions, but I haven't the patience yet...)
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo   

HAHAHAHA, I got fifteen. That is a gigantic nine more than the six estimated. Thought this was a little interesting Meme, so figured I'd pass it on! ^.^ Have fun.

BLANK?! BLANK! You're not looking at the big picture!!!

^completely unrelated quote from Futurama I just heard on TV... anyways.

I got a new mood theme, based upon A Very Potter Musical! The greatest HP fan creation EVVVVEEEEERRR!
Here's Act I, Part 1


Yeah, also, um hey, only person I talk to ever on LJ. How's everything? Hope I see you tomorrow at Raven Day! Haven't seen you ever, basically, and like talking to you so, yeah, ramble ramble. You should watch AVPM. It's really funny.

Ahhhh, I can't resist an HP question!!


Obviously Deathly Hallows is the most satisfying read. It's the ending! You find out WTF has been going on! And that bastard Snape dies. Took long enough. Even Harry is kinda dead for a bit, so that is semi-satisfying. Everything works out great!

Epilogue may suck, but it's kinda cute. So, DH.

Have you ever clicked on a link to find it'sa  sex-toy shop? Probably not, but I have. Just recently, too. And I was reading and looking at some of the toys and, well, they made me LOL like crazy. Especially the way they look. Vibrators are fucking hilarious looking. Much like RL cocks... just saying, they're ugly... Anyways, they also have hilarious names.

Buzz Bunny; Cupid's two Finger Tingler ; dinky dolphin; Rocks off Rock Chick Female Toy(oh, really?); Sweet as Candy;  Cupid's Mini Rabbit;

Lol. And yes, the dolphin one is fucking shaped like a dolphin. Seriously. And there's one that has a crown on the end. And a double-headed one. So that you and your partner can both be fucked by plastic at once... It says for lesbian AND heterosexual couples. WHy do the hetero ones need that? I don't know.

This one is just completely freaking looking. Like it's a robot or something and it's going to end up coming alive and ribbing you apart O.o
Or you're supposed to use it as some sort of kitchen device. Either way, I for one wouldn't stick that in my va-jay-jay. It's creepy looking,.

Oh, sweet Jesus. I made the mistake of going to the guys section(because I'm an idiot) and found some weird-ass stuff. And I mean I literally found weird-ass-stuff. How do you even use this?!
And then there's this: portable vagina. No lie.
Also they have the portable vibrating slut. That's kind of awesome in a bizarre 'How long could it have taken them to make this kind of shit' way.
Also, we all know this but I'll say it again: Penis Pumps are freaking looking.  I wouldn't trust them.

But now for the fucking grand finale. THIS.
Yep. Clone a pussy. I had no idea you could do that. I knew about the cock one, but I had no idea you could mold your cunt. Wow.
I can't imaine that'd be very comfortable. But then again, he look at your cunt molding while he's fucking his vibrating slut, I suppose. LOL, sex shops. Sex is hilarious, guys.

Bored. But adventurous!
I haven't anything to do and it's one am. The only people I know who are awake right now kind of bug the crap out me so I can't call them....

I think I may just go take a walk outside. Should be safe... right? I need to do something. Yeah, take a walk at 1 in the morning. It sounds nice, actually. It'll be cool and no one else'll be around. Like the world belongs to me. I think I may just do that.

First I should eat some captain Crunch. I have a serious obsession with Captain Crunch lately. I was writing something and I think the characters said Captain Crunch a bunch of times.

"If I ever got the death penalty, I would totally have my last meal just be a giant, like, pool-sized bowl of Captain Crunch." 

I think I'm so funny... Which I might be, right? Nope.

And I just got news that Perfect_Information has one last chapter to go. Love those boys and those girls that write about those amazing, lovable boys. I wish I had something better to post.

Ooh, today I found out I'm going real camping for the first time in my life. Like, actually sleeping on the ground, in a tent camping. Weird! I think James'll be there... I hope so, otherwise I'll be going for nothing! Oh right... Cody invited me. I'll be going for him. Psha. He probably knows I'm going for the James. And maybe a chance at seeing Matt without his shirt on. 

In fandom news, a "The Last Airbender" trailer came out. And Aang looks pretty cool... and just like fucking Star Wars Kid. This movie is going to be either absurdly awesome, or completely lol-tastic. I'm kinda hoping for lol-tastic. Jackson Rathebone'll be amazing no matter what. He's fantastic.

Oh and JAKE EPSTEIN in SPRING AWAKENING as MELCHIOR. I nearly died of shock and happiness when I saw that. I have to get to Sacramento in November to see him perform. It must be so amazing! Ah, if only I were his friend. That'd be heaven.

Well, bye. Hunger is almost crippling me now. My hands are all shaky...probably from a lack of caffeine. And a lack of captain Crunch!

So yeah, I just feel like ranting about something to somone, so...hello internet!!

I have spent the majority of today going from happy to anxious to excited to depressed to tired and back to happy again, combined with worried. Anger/frustration was in there somewhere too. Stupid boys...

Stupid moods! Why can't my body at least pick one rather than  jump around like it does? Damn seizure medication that is supposed to be stabilizing my moods and is so not(Although in its defense I did miss the last two night's doses, although in my defense that's because it wasn't doing anything anyway!) And got a refill of my Prozac today. I wonder if I ever will get  to keep the bottle myself again. Clearly I can 't be trusted with a full bottle of pills, but I wish I could be. Urgh, thinking of that again, aren't I? Rargh.

I just wish he would talk to me. My best friend was ignoring all of my calls today, which explains the worried and angry part, and then I eventually left him this really stupid message saying somwething along the lines of "I haven't called you for about thirty minutes, so figured it was time to again. I don't know. I don't think you're talking to me. Or maybe you're busy. I wouldn't be surprised if you aren't. I probably shouldn't be by myself right now, but Sarah's at work so I will be. Wish you woudl talk to me, but you won't. Whatever, I understand if you never to again. Bye."
And then he texted me, telling me to chillax, and that he didn't feel like talking to anyone. I just settled for 'Fine.' Gr face.